


Chances

by sixtieshairdo



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: Alex is a jerk, M/M, Sonny can be vulnerable as hell too, Sonny has brotherly issues, Will is wide-eyed adorbs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 09:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixtieshairdo/pseuds/sixtieshairdo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sonny hasn't spoken to his brother, Alex, for years. One day, Alex contacts him to say that he wants Sonny to attend his wedding in Dubai.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chances

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starvinbohemian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starvinbohemian/gifts).



He looks at me like he's seriously going to have a nervous breakdown.

 

I sigh and take his hands in mine, readying myself for an episode of heart-wrenching wibbling.

 

"It'll be two weeks at the most, I promise."

 

"That's _fourteen_ days."

 

I kiss his knuckles, averting my gaze and feeling thoroughly bad about the entire situation.

 

"I'll be back before you know it."

 

He is quiet, eyes still wide and blue, like a sea about to crash onto the calm sand. After what seems like forever and a minute, he exhales heavily.

 

"I am going to miss you like _fuck_."

 

I feel guilt filling up my chest. I hate how bad the timing is for this to happen. Will needs me, more than ever, and the last thing I need is to leave him for a any period of time.

 

I feel pressure rise in my windpipe, choking me. I wrap my arms around him.

 

"I am going to miss you too."

 

...

 

I haven't seen Alex in four years.

 

Until a couple months ago, my last proper conversation with him was about me being gay and his response was a painful silence that tore me up inside. I had to fill in the aching quiet with my cheery voice, telling him that _I know this is big news and all, but I just wanted to let you know because you matter to me_. He told me he was sorry for not saying the right things, or the things I wanted to hear at least, but he appreciates that I told him.

 

After that, nothing more.

 

After that, I met Will.

 

After that, I kissed Will, and he kissed me back, and we fell in love...and Will became a father somewhere along the way.

 

I rang Alex up, that very night Will broke the horrifying news in front of a congregation, but he didn't pick up any of my calls.

 

If I thought Will had shattered me apart into glass shards, Alex's non-response that night ground me up into powder.

 

Perhaps it is my own fault for hero-worshipping Alex the way I did back when we were younger, but perhaps it was really just circumstances. He was two years older than me but I thought of him as _my amazing big brother_.

 

Even after the hurt and heartbreak and betrayal I felt from his avoidance of me, I still saw him as the protective, awesome, caring brother that he once was.

 

After Will and I patched things up, I told him about Alex.

 

I don't know why I never did it before, but something inside me made me want to share this insecurity with Will. Perhaps I trusted Will more now, ironically after being lied to for months, but it felt like it was the right thing to do.

 

Will wanted to see a photo of him, so I slipped out the photo of me and my brothers from the depths of my wallet to show him.

 

"That's Vic and Joey on the right, and that's Alex next to me."

 

Will smiled, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners, his expression tender.

 

"You guys looked close."

 

I nodded, remembering how it used to be before I left Dubai, before I came to Salem.

 

Will flipped the photo around, squinting at my scribbly handwriting at the back: _18th birthday, 2006._

 

I studied Will's face, finding solace and comfort in the fact that he understands what it's like to have close siblings. It struck me then that Will's the oldest amongst his siblings, and I am the youngest. I don't quite know what to make of that.

 

He handed the photo over and pulled me into a hug. I felt safe immediately.

 

I held him a little tighter.

 

...

 

In the middle of a crazy busy shift, I realize that my phone is buzzing in my jeans. I give a customer her change and a smile, before I check my phone, only to nearly drop it to the ground in surprise at the name flashing up on the screen.

 

_Alex._

I tell Laura to watch over the shop while I quickly slip to the room at the back of the coffee house,  my heart pounding out of my chest. I hurriedly answer the call, half-afraid that he'll disconnect the call.

 

"Hello? Alex?"

 

His voice sounds distant but warm.

 

"Sonny! Hey, is this a good time?"

 

He sounds happy, like the Alex I once remember.

 

"Yeah! This is...this is a good time. How have you been?"

 

He laughs and it feels like nothing ever changed in the years of silence between us.

 

"I've been amazing. God, how long have we not spoken? I'm well. I, uh, Sonny I'm getting married."

 

I feel genuine happiness flood through me.

 

"You and Christine are finally tying the knot? About time!"

 

Suddenly, his voice drops, tension filling the distance between us.

 

"Um, no. Christine and I broke up a year back. I am with Angela now. Mom never told you?"

 

It hits me then: I don't know him anymore. Why would he expect _Mom_ to tell me when _he_ didn't have the decency to talk to me about it? Christine was amazing. I loved her like a sister. When Alex avoided me, she actually sent me kind text messages, congratulating me on coming out and wishing me well. What the hell happened?

 

I swallow my growing sense of doubt and keep my voice as normal as I could.

 

"No, she, uh, she didn't say anything. So, you're getting married in Dubai?"

 

His voice lightens again, clearly happy not to talk about Christine.

 

"Yeah! We're getting married in a month's time. I wanted to ask you if you could make it. I mean, I would love it if you could be there."

 

It is my predisposition to trust Alex's words, no matter how much I know they might not be true. I hate how badly I want to be there for him anyway.

 

"Wow, this is...alright! Yeah, I'll be there."

 

He sounds delighted at that and I can't deny how happy I feel.

 

"That's great! You're gonna love Angela. She's just, wow Sonny, she's _perfect_."

 

Will's face come into my mind and I understand exactly what Alex means. Some of the tension eases from my shoulders and I find myself thinking of asking Will to come with me.

 

"I'm just so happy for you, Alex."

 

And I mean it too.

 

"I can't wait to see you, Sonny. Be well, okay?"

 

When I hang up the phone, I feel like someone who has just started breathing air after years of swallowing dust.

 

My day is better already.

 

...

 

"I want you to come with me."

 

Will's eyes couldn't be brighter. He barks out a laugh and pulls me in for a kiss. The sheets are tangled around our knees and it's a little too early for bed yet, but I have a feeling we might be here for the rest of the night. He's over me, his body a welcome weight over mine, and I run my hands up his arms to his shoulders, appreciating the hard and smooth of his muscle.

 

"Are you serious? You want me to attend your brother's wedding with you? That's like, huge!"

 

He's blushing already and I rub my thumb across his cheek, my heart easily freefalling. Sometimes, I feel like I cannot love him anymore and then I realize, I will _always_ love him more.

 

"Yeah, I want you to be there with me."

 

Something soft crosses his face, his eyes looking at my lips.

 

"Are you sure you want to attend a wedding with me? After what happened at Nick and Gabi's?"

 

I frown at him, searching his face. I know what happened was horrible but I've put it all behind me now.

 

"Yes, Will. Yes, I want you to be with me. Be my plus one. Will you?"

 

He grins, adorably red all over. He licks his lips and nods.

 

It doesn't matter that it's only 7pm; we spent the rest of the night in bed entangled in each other.

 

...

 

Will groans, his hands covering his face. I can't help feeling sorely disappointed but I rub his back to console him.

 

"Goddamned mid-terms! I'm so sorry, Sonny."

 

"Hey, no. I'm sorry that you can't make it. And I hate that I have to leave you at a time when you're going to be stressed."

 

He suddenly realizes the weight of my words.

 

"You're going to be away for two weeks!"

 

I bite back a smile. His eyes are comically large and his hands are clutching mine as though he'd just realized that I won't be around.

 

"Yeah. I promise, though, I'll come back as soon as I can, alright?"

 

He actually whines against my neck, burying his face against me. I half-expect him to tell me not to go but he doesn't.

 

...

 

As my departure date approaches, Will gets more and more antsy.

 

I begin to worry that going away might not be such a good idea, especially if it is going to affect Will's exams. I express my doubts to him and something melts in me and I see him struggle to put on a strong front for me.

 

"No, you should go. You've wanted to go from the very beginning and I know you want to reconnect with Alex. You should go, no, you _must_."

 

I study his face carefully, knowing that he's feeling frightened nonetheless.

 

"Listen, Will. I know it's not just your exams. Gabi's due soon and I know you're nervous as hell about everything. These nights, you don't even get proper sleep. I just don't want to--"

 

"Hey, hey, hey. No, hey. I will be fine, I promise. You go and spend time with your brother and don't you dare worry about me, alright?"

 

He gives me a shaky smile and runs his hand through my hair fondly.

 

These nights neither of us sleeps soundly.

 

...

 

It's a week before I leave for Dubai and I am brimming with anxiety.

 

Mom and Dad are leaving a day earlier and though I know they'll be there when I arrive, I kind of wish that someone would be with me on the flight. Vic and Joey were enthusiastic to learn that I was coming down, and I am stoked to see them again. Ever since I left Dubai, I kept in touch with them mostly via email and Facebook. But seeing them again would be _amazing_. Unlike Alex, they were embracing of my sexuality. Vic even got to talk to Will for a bit over Skype when Will came over to my apartment during one of our random video call sessions.

 

 _But_.

 

I'm still on uneven ground when it concerns Alex.

 

We text each other, and even had a couple of short phone calls, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that he's still not fully comfortable with the idea of his little brother being in a relationship with a man.

 

When I mentioned to him that I had initially hoped for Will to attend the wedding, all I got was tense silence. He sounded terribly relieved when I explained that Will had mid-terms to complete and wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding.

 

It hurts - the wound that I thought had healed over the years is freshly bleeding again - but I just had to give myself this one chance to see him again and figure out where to go from here. Years of unresolved emotion had left me insecure and unhappy.

 

I owe this much to Alex.

 

I owe this more to myself.

 

...

 

The night before I had to leave, Will refuses to let me out of his sight. It almost becomes ridiculous as he would go the extent of following me into the back room of the coffee house. I let him do what he likes, and admittedly find peace in his presence.

 

That night, he doesn't speak much. He knows I am anxious about seeing Alex again, and he knows I tend to clam up when I am tense. He helps me pack the last few things I needed and leads me to the bed once I am sorted.

 

I am exhausted; mentally drained and physically shaken. I am worried about leaving Will, and  even more worried about Alex's wedding. Something is holding me back, making me want to stay and not go to Dubai. Perhaps, it's the fear that Alex really has changed and that things will never improve between us. Maybe I prefer to live in hopeful doubt than in painful certainty.

 

Will is kissing my neck, distracting me from my thoughts. We're not even naked yet and I could already feel him hard against my thigh. We haven't been intimate the past week or so, especially with him studying hard and my packing for the trip, but tonight makes me yearn for him so much more, knowing that we would be apart for a while.

 

Chad laughed when I told him how badly I would miss Will - but he doesn't understand just how big a step this is. How attuned both Will and I have become over the months. How much Will defines my day. How afraid I am that something bad would happen to Will when I am away, given that this town is made up of people with bad intentions. How scared I am to face my estranged brother after years apart.

 

He's kissing me deeply, his fingers already lubed and probbing me open.  I whine in his mouth, palming his cock, and he moans, vibrations from his lips tingling against mine. Swiftly, he positions himself behind me, so we are lying on our sides. We hardly ever fuck like this, but I don't question or resist him. With his arms around me, our eyes meeting as he prepares to enter me, I feel safer than I have felt this whole blasted month.

 

He moves a little closer so I don't have to crane my neck too much to look into his eyes, and inches in slowly, taking his time to slide into me. Our mouths are barely touching, just breathing in each other, his arm across my chest, his palm flat against my heart. My eyelids flutter close as I place my hand over his, fingers overlapping each other over the racing beat of my heart.

 

He's fully in me now, and I exhale deeply, adjusting myself to the feel of him, already wishing I didn't have to go. He peppers kisses over my face as he begins to slide out of me slowly, and then pushing back in. I love the way he moves, his hand never letting go of my chest, our breathing synchronizing into music. I reach back to palm his hip, guiding him as  he rocks in and out of me.

 

He never breaks eye contact with me, and as he hits my spot over and over, I try to keep my eyes open, to let him see me shatter, and I come with a broken cry on my lips, not even having touched myself at all.

 

 

He comes quickly after, and cleans me up as I lay limbless and breathless.

 

He holds me tight, just warmth and bare skin, and for the first time in a long time, I fall asleep against him, with nothing but love in my mind.

 

...

 

I hug him goodbye, wishing I could bring him with me. I mumble against his shoulder.

 

"I'm scared."

 

He pulls back and gives me an assuring smile.

 

"Don't be."

 

I  carry his voice, and the taste of his lips, as I lay awake on the plane.

 

...

 

After 15 hours of flight, I am ready to crash and burn.

 

Stepping out of the airport, I welcome the warm weather like an old friend.

 

Inside the car with Dad, I finally close my eyes and feel a semblance of comfort by the familiarity that comes with being with him.

 

I cut to the chase.

 

"How's Alex doing?"

 

Dad sounds happy as he speaks.

 

"He's a bundle of nerves but he's alright. He was asking about you all day yesterday."

 

I look over at Dad, smiling a little.

 

"How's Mom doing? Does she approve of Angela?"

 

Dad visibly twitches to my amusement. He grins at me knowingly.

 

"You know how she is. No one will ever be good enough for any of her sons."

 

I laugh at that, recalling how Mom used to disapprove of all my boyfriends.

 

"You mean she gave Angela the Will Horton treatment?"

 

Dad looks at me with seriousness in his eyes.

 

"You know she didn't mean for Will to overhear her, Sonny."

 

I nod tiredly at him. He knows I am only kidding but he is protective of Mom in a way I admire. I can be hard on her sometimes.

 

But there is something that still doesn't sit right with me about Alex's upcoming marriage to Angela.

 

"Dad, what happened to Christine? Mom _adored_ her."

 

Something dark passes over his face, expression turning solemn.

 

"I think it's best that we let sleeping dogs lie, Sonny. All I can say is that Alex and Christine came to a point where they just didn't see eye to eye on things anymore. I think they're better off like this."

 

Trust Dad to be so mysterious about everything. I sigh heavily.

 

"What's wrong, Sonny?"

 

I blurt it out before I could stop myself.

 

"I don't know if I know Alex anymore."

 

Dad looks at me kindly, though his eyes are still clouded with uncertainty.

 

"People do change, Sonny. But not all change has to be bad. Give it time."

 

I nod quietly, closing my eyes with the intention to rest for a bit, but I end up falling deep into slumber all the way back to the hotel.

 

...

 

Alex looks exactly the same as I saw him last.

 

That is both unnerving and familiar. His hair is as dark as before, his eyes just as blue. His height is prominent but not intimidating. He welcomes me with wide open arms.

 

I embrace him, frightfully happy and scared. Vic and Joey pull me into hugs afterwards, commenting how good I look now.

 

Alex brings his bride-to-be over and introduces her to me. She has long, brown hair and gleaming teeth and she speaks with perfect enunciation. I shake her hand with a genuine smile though I secretly keep to myself how odd Alex looks with her. I find myself thinking of Christine's green eyes and red hair and how she and Alex fitted so well together.

 

Alex is whisked away soon enough, busy with preparations for the big day tomorrow, so I do the obligatory, courtesy thing and strike up a conversation with Angela, wanting to know more about her.

 

She is _young_ , a year younger than me even, and she tells me that she met Alex through a mutual friend, and they just hit it right off. I nod at the right places, still a little confused by her story, knowing that Alex isn't the sort of person to agree with dating a friend of a friend. She says Alex and her are planning to move to Australia after he settles his job transfer to Sydney and she cannot wait to start a family and be a mother. I blink at her, amazed by how utterly different she is from Christine. I realize she is touching my arm and looking over my shoulder, so I turn back to see a young woman approaching us.

 

Angela introduces me to Denise, her best friend and cousin, who is studying in New York. I greet her warmly, sincerely happy to be acquainted with Angela's family. I figure the more people I meet from her life, the better I would understand her. Denise smiles shyly at me, tucking her hair behind her right ear. Angela says that Denise has been wanting to meet me after what Alex has shared about me. I smile awkwardly at that, wondering what that could mean. Angela tells us that she needs to check on something, and leans in conspiratorially to whisper to me, that Denise and I _would make such a cute couple_.

 

And it hits me then.

 

Angela has no idea that I am gay.

 

I blankly stare at her and find myself at a loss for words. She winks at me and prepares to walk away before I sputter with as much dignity as I could muster.

 

"Angela, I believe you are mistaken. I already have a partner. Both my boyfriend and I are really happy."

 

Her surprise could not be more obvious. Her eyebrows raise to her hairline and she takes a step backwards as though I had just declared that I am carrying the bird flu.

 

She blinks at me uncertainly, asking me to repeat myself.

 

I square my shoulders and look her dead in the eye.

 

" _I said_ I have a boyfriend."

 

I hear a soft gasp behind me, clearly from Denise, but I ignore her. What bothers me is the fact that Alex hadn't told Angela that I am gay. What is even more disturbing is the way Angela's features have distorted into a disapproving expression.

 

She excuses herself and walks away briskly, the clicking of her heels like bullets hitting the floor, the sound echoing through the hollow room.

 

...

 

"Alex, I'm gay."

 

"I know."

 

"Why haven't you told Angela that?"

 

He buries his head in his hands, sighing deeply.

 

"I didn't think it was important."

 

His words feel like they are slicing through my heart.

 

"Do you hate me because I'm gay? Is it so disgusting and horrifying that you have to avoid me for years, wishing that that part of me would disappear?"

 

He looks up at me, his eyes profoundly sad.

 

"No. I don't hate you."

 

I feel like bursting into tears, suddenly missing the strength in Will's arms.

 

"Then why do you treat me like you do?"

 

He shakes his head at me, his shoulders heavy.

 

"I don't hate you because you're gay. I just don't know how to deal with it."

 

I feel like shaking him hard until he falls to pieces. I practically seethe at him.

 

"Well then, _fuck you_ Alex. This isn't about you dealing with it. It is not _your_ burden to carry! It is who I am and if you can't _deal_ with it, then _I_ don't need to deal with your bigoted self!"

 

"Sonny, please. I am really trying here."

 

"Why, how big of you! Thank you for trying _so hard_ for me, Alex. Let me do you a favour and just leave so you can have the wedding of your dreams. Good luck to you and Angela both."

 

"Sonny, I am begging you, please don't go."

 

I look at him, this broken man a distant shadow of the wonderful, amazing brother that he used to be. He used to protect me. Now he is only concerned about protecting himself. Suddenly, all I feel is overwhelming sadness.

 

"Why did you invite me here, Alex?"

 

"I wanted to see you, Sonny. I wanted all the people I love to be here with me on my wedding."

 

I shake my head miserably.

 

"Love isn't enough, Alex. It isn't enough to get you to accept me for who I am. And it isn't enough to keep me here."

 

He looks at me and for a split second, I thought I saw the Alex I once knew somewhere in his eyes. But just as quickly, he blinks, his shoulders slump in defeat, and I finally realize that everything has changed between us.

 

I bury my hands in my pockets, my eyes staring at the shine of my shoes.

 

"Take care, Alex. And congratulations."

 

...

 

I step into the busy crowd at the airport, glad that the long flight has finally ended.

 

I had left as quietly as I could, avoiding all the drama that Mom could muster. She finally decided to stay after I told her (very firmly) that I could take care of myself and that I needed to be alone.

 

Alex called me several times but I was in no state of mind to talk to him so I only left him a text message, telling him to give me some time and space to deal with this, and he backed off respectfully.

 

All I wanted to do now is get into bed and sleep forever.

 

"Sonny!"

 

I turn towards that familiar voice and wanted to fall to my knees in happiness, seeing Will once more, as though I had been apart from him for longer than I really was.

 

He reaches out for me and I fall into his embrace easily, my bags thumping to the ground heavily. I wrap my arms around him and breathe him in deeply. He doesn't have to tell me know he knew when my flight was arriving; I know he must have found out from Mom. She knew that I didn't want anyone by my side...except Will.

 

His voice is muffled against my hair.

 

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm really sorry."

 

I pull back to smile at him through my teary eyes and nod in agreement.

 

"Yeah, so am I."

 

He looks worried and tired, like he hasn't slept in a long time, and I suddenly realize that he had his exam earlier in the day. He must have rushed here after his paper. I frown at him, both unhappy and glad to see him.

 

"You shouldn't have rushed here like that, Will."

 

He pointedly sighs at me and bends down to grab one of my bags, his other hand slipping easily into mine. He walks with a determination I never knew he had.

 

"We are going home and you're going to wash up and I'm going to put you to bed and take care of you and you better not whine about it."

 

I look at Will and I know he means business when he talks like that. I nod meekly, my bruised and battered heart feeling slightly better now that he's here.

 

His eyes meet mine, and there's a fierceness in his words.

 

"I love you, Sonny Kiriakis."

 

I can't help but laugh through the tears.

 

"I love you too, William Horton."


End file.
